Michelle Cook - Clay County Sheriff

We interview Michelle Cook, the current Sheriff for Clay County here in Northeast Florida. She shares her story of growing up here in Jacksonville, attending UNF, and discovering her passion for law enforcement during a ride along day. Michelle discusses her passion for protecting and serving, how she used her smaller stature to her advantage as an officer, rising the ranks of the Jacksonville Sheriffs Office to become a 3-star Director and 3rd in command in the 3,300 person organization, the road to become an elected official beating out 5 other candidates, her day to day responsibilities, and her parenting philosophies as a mother of 6 kids. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NvA5VNN8ps

Brian Harbin: Hello, my name is Brian Harbin. Welcome to today's episode of the grit.org podcast! Super excited about our guest today, Sheriff Michelle Cook.

Michelle Cook: Hi!

Brian Harbin: In the studio with us. Welcome!

Michelle Cook: Thank you! Glad to be here!

Brian Harbin: And my wife Jen.

Jennifer: Hi, Michelle! Thanks for coming!

Michelle Cook: Of course. Absolutely.

Brian Harbin: And before we kick off, just want to give a quick shout out to our sponsor for today, escrow.com. They do over $7 billion in online transactions, the world's most secure online payment method for automobiles to electronics, to business sales and more. Escrow makes it easy to confidently conduct business online. Visit escrow.com today to learn more about how you can achieve trust, security and certainty with every transaction.

So Michelle Cook, she actually is the current sheriff of Clay County. She's actually been a resident of Clay County since a very young age. Graduate of Clay High School, graduate of UNF here in Jacksonville with a bachelor's and master's degree. She worked her way up, starting as a patrol officer and then retired from JSO, which is Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, as a three star director and third in command of a 3300 person organization.

In 2017, she became the chief of police in Atlantic Beach and in 2020 ran for sheriff in Clay County and beat out five other candidates in the race. Her and her husband Don have six kids, four of which they adopted out of a local foster care. So, Michelle, welcome!

Michelle Cook: Thank you!

Brian Harbin: So we always like to kick off just with early life, growing up. We know your family moved here, your dad was in the Navy. But I guess any early principles that were instilled at you as a young child and any specific mentors or family members that really impacted you at a young age?

Michelle Cook: I would say all of them. You know, my father being in the Navy. So let me back up a little bit. I was born in Clay County and then my parents, my father was transferred to Corpus Christi, Texas for a short while and then we went to Hawaii for a short while. Then to Millington, Tennessee for a short while, then back to Clay County.

But, you know, the travel at a young age and then my father being in the military. You know, for us, the core values and experiences where people are different, you know, always be respectful. There is a chain of command even in a family. And we will abide… we'll respect our mother and our father and, you know, you work hard and if you work hard, things will work out for you. And so that's what I grew up and what, you know, my brothers and sister, we grew up with those values in our family.

Brian Harbin: And what about, I guess, any early interests that you had in terms of activities, sports, anything that kind of, you know, helped you, any passion you had outside of school?

Michelle Cook: Yeah. And you know, it's interesting because this was, you know, at a young age, it was before Title Nine and I really wanted to play sports. And I played soccer for a little while. And then I played on a boys baseball team for a little while, but got kicked off because they didn't want girls on the team.

And then found my way into softball. So we did grow up as a family, all playing sports. We bowled as a family. And you know, everybody played a sport. So very team-oriented, very, you know, a physical family. We were always out doing something, whether it was camping or hiking or playing sports. Yeah.

Jennifer: And you're an Osprey, is that right?

Michelle Cook: That's right. Swoop. Yes.

Jennifer: Tell us about some your experience at UNF. Great school, wonderful community.

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Jennifer: What are some of the fun stories you've got from that experience?

Michelle Cook: I can't share the fun stories I have from college. I'm sorry. No, you know, it's… I enjoyed college. I was, I had to put myself through college. My parents didn't come from a whole lot of money and so I had to put myself through college. And that was… so I was working while taking classes and participated in a lot of, you know, college activities. Fun stuff. I really had a good time in college. Met some lifelong friends that I still meet up with and talk to regularly. And so that was neat.

And it was while in college that I found my passion for policing. And you know, originally I wanted to go into the Navy. My father was Navy, and I couldn't go into the Navy because of asthma. So I was sort of lost… there for a couple of years trying to figure out what I wanted to do. Then I said, well, I'll go into education, and, you know, I have a great respect for teachers, but it just didn't quite feel right.

And while in college, I took an elective criminal justice elective class. And the teacher, the professor said, well, if you go do a ride along with the police officer, I'll give you extra credit. So I'm all about extra credit. And as soon as I got in the police car, I was like, this is it. This is it. Just clicked. And my experience in college is really what started me on my path to law enforcement. Although, according to my brothers and sisters, I was always the rule follower growing up. And I was the first to pimp them out to the parents if they were doing something wrong. So I think it was always meant to be.

Brian Harbin: And I'm curious too, because, you know, we work with, you know, a lot of high school, college-age students. Our son's a senior in high school. You know, what led up to that decision to go to UNF in terms of deciding to stay, you know, somewhat local in Jacksonville, you know, to Clay County. Any jobs, I guess you had in high school? I know you said you had an interest in the Navy, but, you know, know that didn't work out. So, you know, tell us a bit about that decision to pursue UNF and money.

Michelle Cook: I mean. Yeah, so I had actually received a scholarship to the junior college at the time. And so a portion of my tuition was paid for and my family just did not have a lot of money. So I knew that I would have to stay local to keep it as inexpensive as possible. And, you know, my family has always been very tight knit, so I never really wanted to go far. Partially because of the cost and partially I just didn't want to be too far away from home.

So I ended up at FSCJ at the time on a partial academic scholarship and started there. And then I worked one to two to three jobs every semester, making money to pay to live on my own. And I decided to move out to go to college locally, not too far from the family, but have my own place. And so I had to work quite a bit and then pay for tuition and expenses.

And so I would, you know, waitressing and a little bit of bartending in college and, you know, just kind of hustling to make ends meet. But, you know, it really grounded me in the reality of adulting. My friends whose parents were paying everything were out every night having a good time, and I couldn't… I had to work, but that was okay. I think that kept my balance of enjoying the college experience without getting too far out there.

And then realizing early on what responsibility meant. I mean, I bought my first house when I was 22 years old. Wow. So, yeah. So you know, I look back and what's kind of funny now is I have a 19-year-old daughter and for her 18th birthday she asked for a Roth IRA.

So I'm like, yes, right, right? And I think there's, you know, the having to work in college and pay my own bills but still be close to home gave me the grounding, the foundation that I needed and the safety net, so to speak. But at the same time, you know, introduced me to the fact that you, you know, you have to work hard and pay bills and have responsibility.

Brian Harbin: Mhm.

Jennifer: Yeah, absolutely.

Brian Harbin: I'm really curious about that first experience in the patrol car. Was there, you know… So tell us about life in the patrol car in terms of, I guess you're going to the next stop. Anything that was kind of memorable?

Michelle Cook: Oh yes. Yeah. So I get in the car and, you know, at the time I'm probably 18 or 19 and I get into the car and the officer that I was riding with, great guy. And we, he was riding in the downtown area, downtown at the Landing at that time, a lot of people, drunks and partying and running around.

And so we're on the midnight shift and call goes out that there's a fight at the Hooters at the Landing. And so he turns on his lights and sirens and we go the wrong way down a one-way street. And he's like, hold on, you know, and he goes, when we get here, just stick with me. So we, you know, we're high speed the wrong way down a one-way street with lights and sirens on and I'm like, this is the best thing ever. Get out. And I run in behind him and him and another officer are breaking up a big fight at Hooters. And I just, I was hooked. I was hooked.

And you know what was funny is I am not a very big person and when I got hired at JSO, I was 5 foot 5 and 103 pounds. Okay. So I'm 25 pounds heavier now. I'm not a big person and I almost did not get hired by JSO because they said I was too small. Mhm. But going back to growing up playing sports and having a very physically active family, that never crossed my mind that I would be too small because I was always used to the physicalness of whether it was soccer or softball or baseball or backyard football. We were always doing something. And I got teased a lot because they say that analogy where they say if you're hungry, your eyes see everything and think everything looks good.

Well, I always thought I was bigger than I apparently actually am. But that experience that night, I called my parents the next day and said, I'm going to be a police officer. And my dad was like, absolutely. My mom's like, oh my gosh. You know. But that it was, it was a very memorable night and really kind of started the flame of public service for me. Wow. Yeah.

Jennifer: That's wild. I feel like I've never had an opportunity to ride in a patrol car. And I think that's, I mean, I feel like that would be something beneficial for many high school students.

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Jennifer: Just to get, you know, to give them the perspective of what police officers deal with every single day.

Michelle Cook: Not what's on the TV.

Jennifer: What's on the TV.

Michelle Cook: Right.

Jennifer: Like what the day in. And day… You know, just like, even if it was just a day in the life of…

Michelle Cook: I think that they could really…

Jennifer: And also just help if they're making good decisions, encourage them to keep making them.

Michelle Cook: Right. Right.

Jennifer: So maybe not good decisions. See what direction that could eventually take them and just get an appreciation for what…

Michelle Cook: Well, and, yeah, and an appreciation is right. And the opportunity to ask the officer anything they want. You know, unfortunately, you know, due to circumstances beyond my control, law enforcement in the media has just been, you know, we've, we've been hammered as law enforcement's bad and law enforcement's not bad. Do we have bad apples? Of course we do. We're humans. Right? But there's over, you know, a million contacts a day by law enforcement across this country that go just fine.

And, you know, when we have a bad one, it's just played over and over and over again and then the police are shrouded as evil or bad. And that's not the case at all. You know, this is, my 34th year in law enforcement. I have worked with thousands and thousands of policemen, and I could probably count on one hand how many really bad ones I've worked with. And so I would encourage any young person, whether it's because they have an interest in law enforcement or just really want to ask any question they want, go do a ride along with your local law enforcement agency.

Brian Harbin: And I think too, you mentioned your size compared to most other police officers. And I'm sure that also, you know, you would come into a situation and have to use your words and communicate with the person. And I think that also probably de-escalates the situation. Right, because you're able to start the conversation and really figure out what's going on in order to…

Michelle Cook: Yeah, sure. You know, and I don't, again, I don't think it's good or bad. So I'm, I'm not big. And I, you know, I work a beat when I'm young next to a really big guy who played football and was used to putting his hands on people. I'm thinking, okay, I'm, not going to put my hands on you just yet because I'm little. Let me see if I can talk you into my vaccine. I was wildly successful at de-escalating because of my stature.

But, you know, I've been in some heck of a fights. I've been put in the hospital. I've put other people in the hospital. I mean, I, I, you know, I have had to fight for my life when people pointed guns in my face. And so for me, understanding my… Everybody has strengths and weaknesses, right? So my weakness has been my size. So throughout my entire career, I worked very hard to maintain my physical fitness. I worked very hard to have good defensive tactics skills because I knew that if I didn't work on that, that would be what got me. That would be what either got me hurt really badly or somebody else.

So even to this day, you know, as the sheriff, I had to take a machete away from somebody in a store recently. About a year ago, year and a half ago. So even as the sheriff, you never know when that point's going to come where you have to take police action. And so for me, knowing my size, I stay in good shape. I stay as physically fit as I can with my defensive tactics and my shooting and all of that. But, if I can talk you into something before I have to fight you, I'm going to do that as well.

Jennifer: It's like using all the skills that you've got and turn them into advantages.

Michelle Cook: Right. And then I have to use my mom voice, you know, don't make me put my hands on you because it's not going to end well for you. And then they look at me and they don't know. Okay, she's some sort of little ninja that… Right. And so to fake it sometimes. Right? A mom ninja.

Jennifer: They don't know what to do. I don't know what you're gonna… Like it's like a Swiss army knife. What's going to come out?

Michelle Cook: What's going to come out? Right, right now?

Brian Harbin: Yeah.

Jennifer: That's interesting. And as you were, as you're talking about, that was kind of one of the challenges that you turned into a strength when you were, I mean it sounds like you said you were all in from the first day that you rode along. As you continued on in that career. Were there any times when you were a patrol officer where you kind of second guess your decision or thought, I shouldn't have done… any kind of regret ever or how did you overcome that?

Michelle Cook: No, not for me. Now, I will say again. In the early 90s when I went to get my first uniform, they gave me men's uniforms and said, go get them altered. So, there were quite a few people around me that were expecting me to fail. I was again 5 foot 5, 105 pounds, a woman in a very… yeah, very male dominated. But, you know, growing up in a family, you know, with parents that said just, do you just, you know, and I just, it would go in one ear and out the other.

The things that they would say to me, they… I had fellow officers sabotage my vehicle, they wouldn't go on calls with me. And I never questioned my ability to do the job, nor did I question my decision. But I really was thinking how, how can I eventually win these guys over? Right? How can I… but you have to balance that because if you go overboard then that is not genuine. So I just had to be my genuine self and realize what strengths I brought to the table.

And, you know, a couple of things happened early on. I had some champions that I worked for, especially one Sergeant Jay Rutherford who… you know, I went to him and said, hey, this squad's not working out for me. I really appreciate you. And he liked to curse, but I'm not going to curse. And he said, what's happening? And I said, sarge is not going on calls with me. I said, I'm willing to move. They've been here a long time. And he said no. And he handed all of them papers to transfer and he says, I'll keep her and all you guys can leave. And two of them left.

Now what's interesting — the two that left have come back and apologized to me because they've since had daughters. And their daughters… yeah, it's changing perspective there. But, um, so my struggle early on in my career — being a woman, but really a lot of it being so small — was: what can I bring to the table to this team? Because I'm not the big, you know, bad person that can grab somebody and tackle them. But what can I bring to the table?

Well, what I brought to the table was: I was really good at communicating. The community trusted me. So when we were looking for somebody, I could go knock on grandma's door and say, “Hey, we really need to talk to so-and-so, and I promise if they turn themselves into me, they'll be safe.” And then, so I started having — especially the women in the community — reach out to me and say, “My boyfriend, cousin, whoever is wanted. Ms. Cook, if I call you, can you bring them in safely?” Absolutely.

So my… it's huge then. You know, I was… the one thing policemen don't like is having to do a bunch of paperwork. I can write all day long. So whether it was writing up warrants or search warrants or, you know, the officers would be like, “Hey, I need to get this whatever, can you help me?” So I would help them write it.

And then, you know what's funny? I remember this one situation — we had a suspect up in an attic. And the attic hole was not big. And my squad's standing there, we can hear the guy up in the attic. And these are all big guys, and they can't — and they… and one of them looks at me. I said, “Lift me up, I'll go get him.”

So they lift me up into the attic hole, and I've got my little flashlight, and I've got my gun out, and I point the flashlight at the bad guy. I said, “You better come down now, because there's big guys down here and they're going to beat you to a pulp if you fight me — if you try to hurt me.” And he's like, “Yes, ma’am. Yes, ma’am.” I said, “So you're going to come down now, quiet, and you're going to cooperate?” “Yes, ma’am. Yes, ma’am.”

And so my squad then realized that they could put me up into attics, under houses, and through windows. So I became the token person that they would toss through a window to go open the door to let them in to get the bad guy. So that's really how I found my role — not trying to be somebody that I wasn't, but trying to find… you know, I think of it like a baseball team — not everybody can be the pitcher. So if I have to go to second base and play second base, I'm going to be the best second baseman there is.

And so finding my role on every squad really helped me be successful. And then I was actively recruited throughout the agency to come do different jobs because of the different skill sets that I brought to the table.

Brian Harbin: Yeah. Being versatile — and sounds like you were just open and willing to do whatever.

Michelle Cook: It was whatever it took. Yeah.

Brian Harbin: And you rose the ranks. So, I mean, to go from a patrol officer to third in command — I mean, was that the plan at the beginning, to see how far you could get in the organization? Or tell us about that progression through JSO?

Michelle Cook: You know, I never… I don't know. I don't think I ever really had a plan other than just try to do better. So I was a patrolman on the street for a while, then took the sergeant's exam and passed it. I was a sergeant for a while, then took the lieutenant's exam and passed it, was a lieutenant for a while. I didn't go up into admin until I had about… 16 or 17 years on. So I did a lot of time on the street, and these opportunities kept coming before me.

And I truly believe that God has this path laid out for all of us. And if you just work hard and you're open to looking at the doors that are in front of you, that those doors will open. Now, you may have to push it a little bit to get it open. So these opportunities kept coming up and timing of things, and I wanted to make the agency a better place. I wanted to make… my community a better place. And so for me, the natural way to do that was just to move up in rank, and then retired out of the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office as the Director of Operations.

Brian Harbin: And is there a story kind of looking back over that time period that really solidifies, like, this is why I chose this career path? Or is there anything that was specifically, like, meaningful or impactful for you in terms of…

Michelle Cook: In thousands of stories. But for, you know, thousands of stories. But for me, you know, I think about when I was a patrol officer, I rode in the Moncrief Myrtle area of Jacksonville. And there's kids that I got to know that went to school out there. And I still talk to these kids. They're adults now with families and jobs.

And the fact that I still talk to these folks that I knew that were in first, second and third grade… right now they're adults with their own families. That's kind of cool that… that's kind of cool that… you still have relationships and… you know, people still come up to me and tell me about the time, “Hey, you remember that time that you did this?” And I don't remember because I've had… so many thousands and thousands of interactions. But for somebody to remember that, that's very meaningful to me.

Jennifer: That they remember it.

Michelle Cook: Yes. Yesterday. Yeah.

Jennifer: An impact on their life that they still…

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Jennifer: Drawn.

Michelle Cook: And I tell young police officers today that you're going to go to thousands of calls a year and some of them are going to be… some of them are going to seem so trivial. But for that person who called you to come in and help, that is the most important thing happening to them in their life at that moment. And if you come in with that perspective instead of saying, “This is so trivial, why did you call me?” versus, “I know this is important to you, how can I help you?” And when you have that perspective about public service or servant leadership… I think it's a game changer.

Jennifer: Absolutely. Your mindset can completely change how you approach every aspect of going there and interacting with those people, how you're helping them.

Michelle Cook: It's the most important thing happening to them at that moment. And you need… and they've asked you out of everybody they could ask, they've asked you for help.

Jennifer: Especially if there's children there.

Jennifer: That are experiencing that and then, you know, that makes such an impact on their life.

Michelle Cook: Right.

Jennifer: Their perspective.

Michelle Cook: Yeah, all that. Yeah, yeah.

Jennifer: So it's crazy. So you… when you retire, you end up switching gears and running for sheriff. I would imagine the campaigning for that is just completely different than what your job had been before. What was that experience like? Or was it…

Michelle Cook: Yeah, it was. But I tell you… I go back to God has a way of showing you a path. And what's interesting is I had worked on the command staff for a couple of different sheriffs, and I was introduced to campaigning early on in my career because a person in our agency running for sheriff said, “Hey, I'm running for sheriff. I'd like for you to help me.” And I'm like, “Yeah, I'm all in.”

So I got to work on the campaigns of John Rutherford, who's now a congressman, and then Mike Williams. And with John Rutherford, I was a little bit more on the outside because I was younger and still kind of learning. But with the Mike Williams campaign, I was very much on the inside of how to campaign. Both of those men are just incredible human beings. And I would watch them. And what's interesting is I remember what I learned from John Rutherford… I'm watching him talk, and I'm watching the community react, and I'm like, I need to emulate that. You know what I mean?

And then same thing with Mike Williams. I would watch him talk or listen to what he would say, and I’m like, I need to emulate that. So I learned. And when I left JSO—when I retired from JSO and became the Chief of Police of Atlantic Beach—my plan at that point was to do eight or ten years there and then retire outright. Yeah. So Atlantic Beach… lovely little community. I was from Clay County, but, you know, that’s where the job was. Lovely, lovely community. Absolutely loved it out there.

But I got a call in late 2019. I have a habit—well, I used to have this habit, and I still do—when my desk phone rings, I stand up to answer it. That’s just kind of my way of getting moving around. And I remember picking up my phone and saying, “Chief Cook.” And the person on the other end of the phone says, “Missy.” That was my nickname growing up. And he says, “Missy, you need to come home.”

And I remember sitting down and saying, “What?” He goes, “You need to come home and run for sheriff.” And I hadn’t really thought about it. But I believe that doors are open for you… and you just have to…

So I went home and told my husband, “I got an interesting phone call today.” We talked about it for a minute, and I’m like, “Well, yeah… if I just do a few more years in Atlantic Beach, I can retire altogether.” And then… I guess I was talking about it a lot, because after a couple of months, my husband finally said, “Just do it, because I’m tired of listening to you talk about it.”

Jennifer: This is the door that’s open for you.

Michelle Cook: Yeah. So, you know, we had to have a conversation with the kids because unfortunately, politics is dirty. And I'll just give you an example of a couple things that were just horrible that my kids had to endure. We had adopted the kids, and someone mailed out a flyer saying that my kids were taken from me by DCF. No—I adopted kids. Right?

And then I had done a charity event for breast cancer. And our team name was, you know, "Breaking Out of Breast Cancer," or something like that. We did a police theme. I had the pink wig—because pink’s breast cancer—and we all wore little uniforms that looked like jail uniforms. And they snapshotted that and said I was a stripper at a local strip club, and that was my outfit. And I’m thinking, “Well, obviously I wouldn’t have made any money if I had dressed like that,” but, you know—you have to laugh at it. When people come up and go, “Hey, did you see this?” you just kind of have to dismiss it.

But my kids had to experience that. It was ugly. But I knew, with my experience and then my roots in Clay County—like, I have a huge family and friend base in Clay County—that if I just went out there, and going back to just being genuine—just, here I am, here’s what I can bring to the table, and will you support me?—I could do this.

And so I won with about 36% of the vote in a field where there were six candidates, which is….

Jennifer: Wow!

Michelle Cook: Yeah.

Jennifer: That’s incredible!

Michelle Cook: Yeah. And then this past year, I had somebody run against me, and I beat him 80 to 20. So pretty decisive. But I think it goes back to—no, no, it’s pretty decisive—but I think it goes back to: this is my community. I love it here. I have so many memories and roots here. And policing is personal for me. And that’s why I’m all in.

Jennifer: Policing is protecting. And you’re protecting your community.

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Jennifer: Over and over again.

Michelle Cook: Over and over again.

Jennifer: Fierce mama bear.

Michelle Cook: Yes. Yep.

Jennifer: You know.

Michelle Cook: Yep.

Brian Harbin: And when it comes to running for office, I mean, there's so many different aspects involved. I mean, I know it's a long period of time. You got to raise money. You're running against probably some of your friends, I imagine, too. Like you said, the, you know, different negative ads that go out, you have to deal with, and then all the additional things like having to, you know, develop talking points and be in front of the media and things like that.

So, you know, going through that process, what were some things that you learned about yourself or some skills you feel like you really were able to kind of hone during that time?

Michelle Cook: I struggled. I can stand up in front of 5,000 people and give a speech. You put me down with a person, one person that I don't know, and I really struggled to have a conversation. And it goes back to, Mike Williams is brilliant at that one on one connection with people.

And so I really paid attention to how he would interact with people, what he would say to people, how he would look at them. And I had to learn how to do that while campaigning. Like, if I was giving a speech to a hundred people, I'm good. But if I had to, one on one, I really struggled with that.

So that was something that I had to work on. I also had to understand and know that it's okay not to be perfect. And I had to understand and know that sometimes people are going to disagree with me and I don't need to take that personally. Okay. And so now….

Jennifer:  Great lesson for anyone.

Michelle Cook:  Right, Right. And so…. And so, you know, I was. I have a couple of people that I talk to and I said, what do I say when somebody comes up to me and says, X, Y, Z? But I fundamentally disagree with XYZ, but I don't want to alienate this person or make them feel disrespected, nor do I want to personalize their position.

And so one of the phrases that I use is I just look them in the eye and I say, thank you for sharing that with me. Now in my mind, I'm thinking, heck, no, I would never do that. But instead of having that confrontation over, over really nothing. Right. Why have a confrontation with somebody when you can have a relationship with them?

And so if I have somebody who comes up and says, I believe in X, Y, Z, and if I'm thinking to myself, I don't believe that, I just say, you know what, thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate that. And then I move and then I pivot into a new topic that we will agree on. And so, but for me, not seeing everything as a fight, because when you're a police officer, when somebody, you know, if you say, hey, you're going to go to jail, they say, no, I'm not. Well, the fight's on. Right.

And so if I…. If somebody came up to me and said something I disagreed with, I had to. Okay, you know, thank you. Appreciate that. Great perspective. Thank you for sharing that with me. And then move on and not personalize it as an attack that I had to respond to with a fight, because you don't have to fight everything. If I fought everything, I'd be exhausted.

Jennifer: It's like you took one of the skills that you had developed so well as an officer. Like when you were saying de-escalating the situation a lot. And, you know, kind of honed that into something that you used in when you were a kid. Like you said.

Michelle Cook: Yeah.

Jennifer: While watching, just disagreeing with someone.

Michelle Cook: Right.

Jennifer: It's like a, you know, like it's cousin.

Michelle Cook: Right. It is. And while watching. And I think, and I encourage my people all the time, if somebody has a skill set that you're like, wow, they're really good at that. Watch what they do and emulate it. And so for me, you know, watching John Rutherford and watching Mike Williams and what they were really good at and trying to pick up as much as I could from them. So, you know, not being afraid to talk. Right. And then watching Sheriff Rutherford and Sheriff Williams and how they interacted and then learning my phrases, you know, really kind of honed that skill for me.

Jennifer: You were very coachable.

Michelle Cook: Yes. Yeah.

Jennifer: All right. Harkening back to your softball and camping.

Michelle Cook: Well, that, you know what, that goes back to the value of being on a team. You got to take. Got to take criticism and feedback. Yeah.

Jennifer: I'm sorry.

Brian Harbin: Oh, no, you're good. So five years in. Right. You took over in 2020 as sheriff. So, you know, just for all of us listeners, can you just give us, like, a bird's eye view of, like, what the day entails? I know you have to oversee, you know, so many different aspects of…. Can you tell us a little bit about just the day to day operations and some of the things that you're kind of focused on?

Michelle Cook: Sure. So just a little bit of perspective about the Clay County Sheriff's Office. We have just over 900 employees. We have jurisdiction of about 644 square miles in Clay County. We handle about 275,000 calls for service a year. So that's about 800 a day, which is…..

Jennifer: Yeah, 800 a day. I never thought about, like, how many every day that you get.

Brian Harbin: 800.

Michelle Cook: That goes back to all those interactions that our deputies have that go off flawlessly. You know….

Jennifer: We don't hear about because they, like, you don't hear about the problem because it gets. It gets handled.

Michelle Cook: Right. Yeah, we have a jail that holds just shy of 500 people in the county. So I also run the jail. We are responsible for court security. We have all of the SROs in the schools. And then obviously your patrol and your detective and crime scene technicians and your 911 center and stuff like that.

So my day typically starts out very early in the morning. I get up between around 05:30. Sometimes I work out, sometimes I don't. My husband and I, we either get up and go for a walk or we sit in bed and have a cup of coffee and talk. And we just kind of figure that out each morning. But we try at least three or four days a week to get out and walk.

Yeah. So my phone calls start around 07:00am and you know, it's typically my staff or constituents or people who have an interest in politics calling for something. And then I roll into meetings usually around eight and it's, you know, budget discussions, priorities discussions, big incident... for big incident, we'll do a debrief.

At 09:30 I get on the phone with— we have what we call the morning huddle where key members from around the agency, we all get on a Teams call and everybody briefs what happened the previous 24 hours of note. And then we talk about anything that we might be aware of for today. And it could be, hey, we have a high-risk prisoner that we have to transport to the hospital. And so, you know, this is where we're going and we should be back by this time. Or, you know, this big case is going on and we're looking for this subject. So you know, that's what we're doing.

So we brief and that usually takes about 20 minutes or so. And then we do the same thing, the same huddle with our SROs and we talk specifically about school issues. And then I roll into just meetings, whether it's going out, meeting with citizens, community groups, going to speaking engagements... you know, again, talking to whoever needs to be talked to.

I have a great undersheriff and a great staff. So you know, they handle a lot of the day-to-day stuff. But my biggest thing is I'm on the phone talking to constituents a lot. Because— and it's a blessing and a curse— because I grew up there and everybody has my phone number.

So... but I love it. It's exhausting sometimes, but I love it. You know, I love it when so and so... you know, I had a older— he's like 85 years old— gentleman called me yesterday because he was mad about something and because that's not the way he used to do it. And, you know... and I'm thinking, what a blessing that I'm getting an earful. He's like, Missy, you, you know... Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. You know, I love old people. So….

Jennifer: Not Sheriff Cook.

Michelle Cook: No, Missy, you need to. And so, you know, I've framed that as a blessing that, you know, this old guy that I've known forever is calling on my phone, giving me an earful about something he disagrees with. So…. But typically two to four nights a week, I have community meetings or events at night. So it's late nights. And that's that whole family impact. Right? Sheriff is not just me. It's the whole family.

And so, you know, I'll be out late at night, speaking engagements and talking to the community about what's going on, and then get home. And sometimes I work out at night. You know, I try to work out at least four days a week because that's my stress relief and then staying in shape and stuff. And my husband is fantastic. He loves to cook. So usually dinner's ready when I get home and eat and take a shower and crash in bed to get up to do it the next day.

Jennifer: Like you said, family impact. I know you said... so your youngest is 17. Your oldest... and you've seen six children.

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Jennifer: Tell us about that. I mean, tell us about... I mean, I can't imagine just balancing this incredible job with this huge responsibility that you have and adopted children. I mean... just... I'm just so interested to hear as a mom. I mean, you… : I could probably sit here for 10 hours and just pick your brain on being a mom and...

Michelle Cook: Yeah, all that.

Jennifer: So just tell us some challenges. Blessings.

Michelle Cook: Just... well, so when my husband and I got married, he had two girls from a previous marriage. They're fantastic bonus girls. Yes, they're wonderful. And then four kids came into our lives. And. again, not something I planned for. But when doors open, you just... you have to. You know, when God knocks on the door and says, hey, I need you to do this, you do it. So we ended up with four very young kids. I got to tell you a true story, too, about this. This is amazing. So. But we ended up with four very young kids.

And what I had to accept is that there's nothing—there's no such thing as work-life balance. Sometimes work is more. Sometimes family is more. And you just have to know that it's okay. And so we were very upfront and honest with the kids that sometimes I'm gonna have to work a lot, and sometimes I'm not gonna have to.

And we just... we all just need to be there for each other. So everybody chips in. And my kids are great. Like, they would empty the dishwasher and take out the trash and do stuff without being asked. But then my son, my oldest son reminded me the other day, he goes, you remember that time that you gave us popcorn for dinner? And I'm like, no.

Jennifer: You're amazing.

Michelle Cook: Yeah. So, you know, but that goes back to... it doesn't have to be perfect. They just need you to be there. And so, two quick funny stories. Our oldest boy was in sixth grade, and he wanted to walk to the bus stop by himself. And it was a mile to the bus stop. And we said, all right, Cody, here's the deal. For the first half of the year, we're going to drive you to the bus stop and drop you off, but if you do good in school, we'll let you walk to the bus stop, okay?

So he's all proud. It's his first day after Christmas break. He's walking to the bus stop. So that afternoon, I get a phone call from a neighbor that says, have the police... she says, have the police called you about Cody? I said, what? She goes, have you heard from the police? I said, no. What's happening? She goes... she goes, hold on. And then she hangs up on me.

So then I try to call her back, and she doesn't answer. Then I call the house phone. Now, we did not give our kids cell phones until they were in high school, so I don't have a cell phone. So I'm trying not to panic. So then I call another neighbor, and I said, can you step outside and see what's going on? She goes, there's police everywhere. I said, all right, let me get my stuff, and I'm gonna start heading home.

So I have a cell phone, but I'm calling the house phone. Cody's not answering. Cody's not answering. So about the third time I call, I'm about halfway home, and I'm trying not to be panicked. Mom. I said, hey, Cody. He goes, hey, Mom. I said, how was school day? It was great. Said, anything exciting happen? Oh, yeah. This lady tried to kidnap me.

Brian Harbin: Oh, my gosh!

Jennifer: Oh, my God!

Michelle Cook: But what had happened is a lady had come into the neighborhood. He was walking home from his first day of school that he was allowed to walk by himself. And a lady pulls up. She was just a crackhead looking for money or to break into something. And she rolls down the window and says, hey, you have any, you know, $2 I can borrow? And he knows not to talk to strangers. And he's like, no, ma'am. And he keeps walking.

Jennifer: He was still being respectful.

Michelle Cook: He was still being respectful. And then she's like, well, do you know where Mr. Jones lives? Or whatever? He's like, no, ma'am. And she's trying to talk to him as he's walking home. And he keeps walking. She's still rolling and talking to him out the window. And he went into the house and locked the door. And she pulled up into our driveway to back out, and she ended up stealing some money from another house. Some neighbors had taped some money for their landscape guys on the door. She had taken that, and then she'd gone into somebody's house that left the door open. And when they got home, they found her inside the house, and that's why all the police were there.

Jennifer: It was right near your house.

Michelle Cook: It was right down from our house. But she was trying to talk to him. He's like, "Yeah, she tried to kidnap me, but I know karate. And if she'd gotten in the house, I know where your guns are." So I told my husband, we need a better gun safe. Yeah. But you know what? He was calm, cool, and collected. He wasn't crying or whining. He. was going to handle business. And then... yeah, I was trying not to freak.

Jennifer: Out as a kid.

Michelle Cook: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was kind of funny. But I’ll tell you this really neat story. So the youngest of the four adopted kids—our kids always knew they were adopted—growing up, he used to always say, "Well, the reason we were put up for adoption is because our parents got lost." And we’re like, "Yeah, yeah, buddy."

Brian Harbin: Yeah.

Michelle Cook: And so he sees an Ancestry.com commercial and he says, "Well, if we do that, we can find my parents." Well, I know—because of my job—a little bit of the backstory of the parents. I know they’re not paying $100 for a DNA test. So I order six tests: one for each kid, one for my husband, one for me. And my kids spit in the little tube. And I tell my husband, I said, "Hey..." And he looks at the box. He goes, "Do you know this company is owned by the Chinese?" I said—

Michelle Cook: Your husband said that?

Michelle Cook: Yes. I said, "Okay." He goes, "You realize they will clone me and turn me into a..." you know. And so I gave him what I call the wife hand. I said, "Well, then don't take the test."

Brian Harbin: Part of that sarcastic humor.

Michelle Cook: Yes, yes. Yeah. They will—he says, "They will clone me." Okay? So I give him the wife hand and I said, "Well, then don’t take the test." So the results come back for me and the kids and, of course, there’s nothing there. A couple months later, my husband's sitting on the couch and he's looking at his phone, and he's looking over at me. And he's looking at his phone, and he’s looking over at me. He goes, "Did you list me as the dad to the kids?" I said, "No." He goes, "I'm cousins to two of the four children."

And so we had his daughters take the test. They’re all second and third cousins. So Cody was the oldest boy at the time—the oldest adopted—and he's extremely mature. He’d been through so much as a kid. Very mature kid. Very mature. And I said to my husband, "We can't—the kids can't comprehend this yet. They're too young."

Brian Harbin: Hm. Uh-huh.

Michelle Cook: And I said, "But I think Cody could." He goes, "Yeah, I think... I think we tell Cody," because Cody was one of the—two of the four kids are related to him, and Cody was one of them. So I remember Cody’s sitting on the chair, and I hand Cody my phone. I said, "I want to talk to you about something really important." He’s like, "Okay."

Jennifer: How old was he at the time?

Michelle Cook: About 14. Very mature, though. Just emotionally—I mean, just good kid. So he’s looking at the phone and he looks at it, and he looks at me, and he looks at... he goes, "So my dad is my cousin?" I said, "Yeah." He goes, "That’s so Clay County."

Jennifer: Cody. You know your child.

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Jennifer: He's mature enough to handle it.

Michelle Cook: So, yeah. Yeah. So as they got older, we told them. So they all know now. So two of the four kids—when those two start acting up, I look at my husband and go, “Well, we know which side of the family they get that from.” But it’s been pretty neat. That whole journey has been very neat. And the fact that we—it's blood family, you know—is cool. So yeah, that's our story. It’s pretty fun.

Brian Harbin: That's amazing! And would you say, as parents, anything specific you guys have done to feel like—to impart, you know, the work ethic and all the things that you guys learned? You know, of course, all the things that you learned from being, you know, a police officer and sheriff—how do you feel like you’ve been able to teach those to your kids?

Michelle Cook: For us it was: be a decent person. Just be a—We're very patriotic. A sense of duty and responsibility and giving back and service. All of our kids got jobs when they were 15 years old. Kids did not get cell phones until they were in high school, and they’ve lost their cell phones a couple times over the years just due to—you know, kid stuff.

But all of them have incredible work ethics and all of them are just decent human beings. And that’s what we’ve taught them: just be decent. There’s no reason to be mean, there’s no reason to be ugly. But also—don’t be naive, because people will take advantage of you. And they are just... they’re really solid, solid people. You know, our oldest daughter—that’s our oldest adopted daughter—is graduating from the Navy next week. And we have a son that’s going to go in when he finishes college—he’s going to go into the reserves.

Yeah. So that sense of duty, even, you know, still—it flows throughout our family, because we’ve always taught that you take responsibility. We’ve always told our kids, if you mess up, we expect you to mess up. Just be honest about it. Right? We don’t expect you to be perfect humans, but you have to be honest. You have to take responsibility.

And so now it’s kind of funny because the youngest still at home—he’ll call me ahead of time: “Hey, Mom, I really messed up today. So when I get home, I’m going to have to tell you what happened.” And he comes in and he says, “And this is what I’m going to do to fix myself.” And I’m like, “Okay.” You know?

So yeah. Yeah. So they just... and they’re just all solid human beings. But that goes back to some of the best advice we ever got in parenting was—and it sounds counterintuitive, but it has worked for us—was: treat your relationship with your child as if it’s a business. And if that child does something that in the business world you would not accept, you need to call them out on it.

Now, we love our children and bring them in close, but if they’re supposed to—when they finish eating dinner at the dinner table—take their plate and go to the sink and wash it off and then put it in the dishwasher, and they don’t? You call them on it immediately: “Hey, where do plates go?” “Uh, in the dishwasher.” “All right, let’s get it done.” The end. It’s not nagging. It’s just a business transaction at that point. And so for us and our kids, that’s worked.

Jennifer: That’s a brilliant way to look at it. Because you love them too much to allow them to behave in a way that is not going to serve them in life. It’s not going to allow them to flourish. It’s not going to allow them to be grateful for the blessings—be grateful for the country they live in.

Michelle Cook: Right.

Jennifer: I mean, you're like, yeah, that's just a great—I mean, like you said—just transactional in a sense of… hey're just, like, you wouldn't allow someone else to do that.

Michelle Cook: Correct.

Jennifer: And so you're treating that person with respect by not allowing them to behave in a way that's not good for them or you or anyone else involved which…

Michelle Cook: And for, especially like as a mom—not making a bigger deal out of something than it is. Keeping it simple. Yeah. “Hey, where do dirty dishes belong?” “In the dishwasher.” Right. “Let’s do that.” Not, “Hey, you forgot your dishes. Oh my God, you guys don’t love me. I work so hard.” You know, they don’t need all that either.

Brian Harbin: Right.

Jennifer: Right now, it’s like Charlie Brown—yeah, I’m reliving a moment that I would have done that recently. So this is getting me back on track.

Michelle Cook: Yeah. Just short and to the point. And it’s a business transaction. But I think that’s led to—they’re flourishing as young adults. All of the kids are just flourishing.

Brian Harbin: Yeah. That’s such sound advice, too. It’s like—even when, you know, a pet peeve Jen and I have is—a lot of these restaurants now, you go, you sit down, and then you’re just supposed to get up and leave and leave all your dirty dishes. They’re like, “Oh, we’ll take care of it.” And we’re like, “No, no.” Our kids shouldn’t just learn to walk away and leave a dirty table. So it’s like—we kind of make a point even at those types of restaurants.

Michelle Cook: And they have to wipe their area. Yes.

Brian Harbin: Right.

Jennifer: Don’t know what to do—it’s like, unclear.

Brian Harbin: Yeah. We’re not going to condition our kids to just—

Michelle Cook: No. Our kids will pile their dirty dishes and wipe their part of the table. Even if they leave the dishes there, it’s neatly piled. And even before they could talk, we made them order their own food. Now we would interpret, but it was like, you know, our one-year-old—“What do you want?” He’s trying to look at a menu and he’s acting like he’s talking. And it’s like—even at that age—“Okay, Colby, you know, clean your...” A one-year-old’s not going to clean their area up good, but they’re cleaning their area up. And it just—that, you know, they build that habit.

Jennifer: You said—don’t be perfect. It just has to be done right. And it’s the mindset of gratitude.

Michelle Cook: Yes.

Brian Harbin: Well, we definitely want to respect your time. I know you’ve got a lot to get back to. But our last question—we always like to ask our guests—the Grit Creed. These are 12 principles that we really bake into all the things that we do. Was there one part of the Grit Creed that stood out to you the most and why?

Michelle Cook: The one that I am drawn to is “I don’t find an excuse, I find a way.” But I would like to say—however comma—you need to know when some doors are just not going to open. And that’s okay. If a door doesn’t open right then, that’s okay. You’re meant to be somewhere else. So you work hard to get to where you want—and the doors that aren’t opening? You just go to the next door. And so for me, it’s “I don’t find an excuse, I find a way.”

Brian Harbin: I love that! Well, thank you so much, Michelle. We’ve really enjoyed this. Just very genuine, down to earth. This has been a great conversation. So thanks for coming in today. And that’s a wrap for today’s episode. Thanks for tuning in! We’ll see you all next time. Take care!